Soreen

I grew up in the late 80s/early 90s, when there was still lead in paints, we didn’t have to wear seatbelts and parents could smack children. It’s a surprise we’ve all made it this far.

Most things I grew up with have become outlawed (see above paragraph), outdated (mine and my brother’s matching shell suits) or outlived (my rabbit). But some things are still, thankfully going strong.

One of my favourite memories is coming home from primary school, racing my brother up the stairs and getting the malt loaf out (for all of you millennials, that’s what Soreen was called when I were a wee ‘un) and cutting thick slices off, slathering them in butter and bunging it into the microwave for ten seconds. The result? Ultimate gooey goodness. And it was approved by mother for being vaguely healthy (liquorice was also vested this lofty status).

Over Christmas dinner it transpired that the both of us still continue this tradition (minus the racing each other up the stairs), only this time it is actually butter we spread, rather than the hydrogenated-oil rich margarine replacement everyone was so fond of back then. As I said, how did we survive to be this old?

It seems that the people over at Soreen HQ (did you know it’s made in Manchester?) either did EXACTLY THE SAME THING WE DID AS KIDS, or just have a lateral thinking product development team who realised ‘we need to make different kinds of Soreen, because in this day and age you need a million new products a day to survive as a brand…’. Anyways they’ve developed pre-sliced loaves, two different types to be exact – one that’s toast shaped and one that’s just a normal loaf sliced, so toaster lovers and microwaves lovers can both get into the hot Soreen action (sounds slightly wrong – ed).

These pre-sliced loaves are amazing, no more sticky fingers/squashed loaves for me. I’m still finding it hard to decide whether micro-ed Soreen (melty/squidgy) is better than toasted Soreen (slightly crispy on the outside, gooey in the middle). What I do know is that the Festive and the Cinnamon Raisin versions are divine (sadly unsliced), but then again I’d think cinnamon heavy vomit was pretty damn edible – basically, buy them if you like hot cross buns, Christmas and er, cinnamon.

And yep, I’ve just written a blog post about a processed, pre-packaged fruit and malt loaf, but guess what it’s my blog and I’m sick of naval gazing about the mouth feel of frickin’ burgers or the way a plate is drizzled with oil. Get over it.

Soreen – available from most corner shops, supermarkets and other grocery type purveyors; or in my lucky case, from my friend who works there.

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